Overcoming stigma.

 

          Although counselling is becoming increasingly accepted as a healthful activity, stigma persists, so seeking help for our mental wellbeing is still scary, and often filled with shame: “I should be able to do this on my own” is a harmful story we tell ourselves, since close, healthy relationships have been how humans have survived and thrived for millennia. So against that backdrop of outdated societal norms, coming here and saying “yes” to yourself is courageous.

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Permission to be Present.

 

          Counselling, at least in how I work, is about giving you permission to pay attention to and explore your experience in ways that might not seem intuitive. With your permission, we may connect more deeply with the present moment by exploring facets including:

1. What you observe with your senses.

2. Your thoughts (automatic thoughts, beliefs about self and other and context, expectations of self and other and context).

3. The 5 components of emotional experience.

4. Bodily sensations and awareness.

5. Movements your body wants to make but which may have historically felt too threatening, disallowed, shunned, or too dangerous to make.

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Consultation room as dojo.

 

          Although I may have expertise in the field of counselling, ultimately you know your life better than I ever will. In a way, it’s like I am consulting with you about your life, and I use my own knowledge and expertise to help you get to where you want to go.

And this means that as two humans in a room, this space is like a dojo, a place to practice being in relationship differently.

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          Other times, the consultation room may be a space to practice paying attention to aspects of your present-moment experience; recognizing the things that work for you, the things that don’t work – how you “do relationship” – and to experiment with different ways of relating…to your body…to your emotions…to your thoughts…to your actions…to others…to the way society is structured, etc.

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          Through exploration and repetition (because practice makes practice), over time you may notice that your way of being in the world changes as you take what you experience in the consultation room out into the world. This can be both exhilarating and scary, and however it is, we'll move through it together.

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A tale of two detectives...

of two improvising musicians...

of two people "mucking about" in the garden

of two people surfing the waves of life

of two intra-stellar travellers

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          Humans are biological organisms with a mind, body, and spirit. Everything we ever have or ever will experience happens to our body: We have a physical body that experiences sensations and cradles our past experiences as somatic memory; we have a brain that has thoughts, has beliefs, makes assumptions, makes meaning, and experiences emotions; and we have a spirit that connects us to the life force greater than just ourselves. Over time, habitual patterns of thinking, feeling, acting, reacting, and relating arise from our ongoing experiences in life. Neural plasticity tells us we can shift some of these patterns, but like the grooves carved by a carriage, it takes time and effort to get out of our own familiar grooves, even if they aren't serving us. Counselling can be a place to - through a safe relationship - increase awareness of our patterns and shift those that are not serving us.

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          So as two detectives on a journey together, we are taking your experience of living and examining it, getting curious about it... looking for clues to how you are constructing your experience (your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, coping strategies, relational patterns, beliefs, assumptions, needs, wants, longings, and yearnings) moment by moment.

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This is your time.

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          In a counselling session, the hour is dedicated to you; that can be quite different from everyday conversation, so it may feel a little uncomfortable, and take a bit of getting used to. Sometimes people aren’t sure if they can ask questions. At Coelevation Counselling, I prefer to have more of a dialogue, so if you have questions for me, or you are wondering what I’m thinking, you are welcome to ask at any point as we work together; I’m happy to be as transparent as I can be about the process we’re engaging in.